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Nostalgia's Coloring Book

from Quitting Tomorrow by Variex

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lyrics

nostalgia’s coloring book

they’ll send you to hell in a fast food paper bag. with a one way ticket and a camera for the memories. they want that boom clap from the cat in the hat, but i’m strapped with self-sacrifice to put it back on the map. half grinning stupidly, all fucking nostalgic on that daily merry-go-round rolling up sunshine in traffic. feeding off each other’s sicknesses and distant birthday wishes. this city is a goddamn playground inhabited by derelicts, with their american spirit. i never understood what it meant to be hypnotized from the inside out. biting my tongue to keep the words from spilling out of my mouth, spiraling down from the sky like my neck tied to a cloud. my bad dreams have all become more vivid this past week and i can’t seem to tell the difference between them and reality. the streets stained with the paint dripping off our faces into murals that fade away at every day break, like our paper mache souls or my razor blade throat. my face won’t hit those angles until my psyche’s wearing a raincoat.

my grandfather’s garden growing weeds uncontrollably like the dead lawn and wilted petals collecting spider webs. stray cats finding shelter in overgrown bushes and dirty gutter water bird baths. my grandmother tapping her thumbs on the steering wheel to the rhythm of the radio in the red tempo. now we keep wind chimes on the front door so we know when she’s leaving home.

do you wake up in the morning, look into the mirror and think, “this is how i see myself, maybe i should take a picture of me?” always the last ear to reach the breeze and first to implode. you can stitch the seams together but can’t hide the burn holes. wading in the sinking sand of generation wasteland. they only shake your hand to let it go. one for the stepping stones, two for the echo, three to get inside your head, and four to lock the deadbolt. one foot over the other in a cartoon cityscape of thieves. you’ve got to learn to give yourself in moderation. the way you choose your colors is like a tragedy gone make believe. twisting your tongue into a knot just for the sake of conversation. guns, weapons, fashion crime, drugs, stress, in the backs of minds. till your setting sun ends up cracking the sky, one step at a time. love, sex, passion, spite, blood, sweat, the grand design. from death, every chapter of life. one step at a time.

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from Quitting Tomorrow, released May 8, 2010

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Variex Oakland, California

Variex is a Bay Area, CA based music producer, rapper, and engineer. He is a co-founder of the New Cocoon collective and has worked with artists like Ceschi, Factor, 2Mex, and Alias. He has also shared the stage with Cage and Sadistik, released an album on Milled Pavement Records, and founded his own label, Red Tempo Records. Variex's newest album, Struggle Sandwich, is out now. ... more

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