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lyrics

(rawbeartoe & variex)
serene when sleeping so easy, leaving me secretly jealous
well there's no option for dreams and the sequences are embellished
[selfish encounters with vultures, I'm left in debt with these vouchers
the counter culture imposters holding us hostage are cowards]

(rawbeartoe)
well, the first time tends to be less than what was hoped for
close the door on anticipation, watch the irrigated
tear ducts flowing like the flood that's on the daily
maybe lazy like the river after fluid is accumulated
I've laid around and waited for the sacred sound to make it
up the hill so I could take the pill while tumbling back down
to sleep while gently rocking me for sanity's sake
I'll stay awake, it's typical to contemplate the rituals
I've got this sandpaper mâché machete ready for the
exploration, patience isn't the only virtue in the jungle
I won't get lost if I don't focus on the fact that I was double-crossed
I'll spit and fight and hack my way through heavy thoughts
I'm floating through space, an emotion as weightless as hoping
only I stay awake fully holding my face while I'm coping
you showed me loneliness is solely just an ornament for self-importance
seldom there's a scorn for what's appropriate

but what’s appropriate
I'm folding under pressure, now I'm motionless

(variex)
although I hoped for it
I'm pushing back against the corners that are closing in

perhaps my vices got the best of me and I let myself
believe in destiny, or something along those lines
guess I went along for the ride and ultimately lost sight
in retrospect it's evident but back then didn't cross my mind
until I caught my reflection in those crocodile tears
and watched that smile disappear like all our childhood years
you can find me here, staring at the ceiling
fighting fears with nightmares, the struggle to keep my mind clear
as I'm lying there wondering how you reach peace
so easily, just waiting to be swept into that scenery
but now it seems that I may have forgotten how to dream
wandering in a constantly lucid conscious stream
lost sleep caught between living a lie
and the willingness to quit trying to kill my mind
intoxicated by recurring thought and frustration
envious of the fact you never seem to get stuck pacing

credits

from Always Something, released July 27, 2016

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Variex Oakland, California

Variex is a Bay Area, CA based music producer, rapper, and engineer. He is a co-founder of the New Cocoon collective and has worked with artists like Ceschi, Factor, 2Mex, and Alias. He has also shared the stage with Cage and Sadistik, released an album on Milled Pavement Records, and founded his own label, Red Tempo Records. Variex's newest album, Struggle Sandwich, is out now. ... more

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